Will Rogers Quotes

Rumor travels faster, but it don`t stay put as long as truth.

On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.

Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.

Even if you`re on the right track, you`ll get run over if you just sit there.

I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.

Politics is applesauce.

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate; now what`s going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House?

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.

We can`t all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.

The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can`t ask his patients what is the matter-he`s got to just know.

There ought to be one day-- just one-- when there is open season on senators.

Be thankful we`re not getting all the government we`re paying for.

We don`t know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it.

An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.

Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.

Diplomacy is the art of saying `Nice doggie` until you can find a rock.

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can.

There`s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

There is only one thing that can kill the Movies, and that is education.

An ignorant person is one who doesn`t know what you have just found out.

I`m not a real movie star. I`ve still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

Don`t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don`t go up, don`t buy it.

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do today.

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.

I was not a child prodigy, because a child prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up.

Nothing you can`t spell will ever work.

The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that`s out always looks the best.

I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies.

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.

You can`t say civilization don`t advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.

There have been three great inventions since the beginning of time: fire, the wheel, and central banking

Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans

I`m not a member of any organized political party, I`m a Democrat!

Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven`t had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.

You can`t say civilization don`t advance... in every war they kill you in a new way.

Live that you wouldn`t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.

We can`t all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.

Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.

I`m not a real movie star. I`ve still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. `Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that`s mass production.

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.

Don`t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don`t go up, don`t buy it.

I don`t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

If I studied all my life, I couldn`t think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress.

Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.

Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.

Communism is like prohibition, it`s a good idea but it won`t work.

Successful colleges will start laying plans for a new stadium; unsuccessful ones will start hunting a new coach

Communism is like Prohibition, it`s a good idea but it won`t work

An economist`s guess is liable to be as good as anybody else`s.

I don`t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

Everything is changing. People are taking their comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke.

There`s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you

It`s not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts.

Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what`s going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate?

Popularity is the easiest thing in the world to gain and it is the hardest thing to hold

All I know is what I read in the papers

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don`t have for something they don`t need.

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.

I hope we never live to see the day when a thing is as bad as some of our newspapers make it

The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, "How is the president?"

You can`t say that civilization don`t advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

If you can build a business up big enough, it`s respectable.

There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.

The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That`s one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.

The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.