I didn`t care too much for ballet, because you had to be more disciplined, and you sort of looked like everyone else. It required a certain kind of conformity that I didn`t feel like I wanted to do.
And I think it was important that I learned to love to dance eventually for its own sake, as opposed to wanting to be a ballerina.
I had a wonderful childhood, coming from Cincinnati, and I think that it was great going into the life that I was going to have, where you have to start young as a dancer.
I was very much of a tomboy.
In fact, ballet companies did not exist in the Midwest when I was a child.
There is pain and sacrifice in everyone`s world. That`s why, when I was dancing, I had no pain.
But what was my motivation was music, and the fact that I love to move around. I`m always moving around.
Even though I am a professional, and I know what the steps are, I don`t quite know how I`m going to do them, because I haven`t lived that moment yet. I always feel very insecure and I get very excited.
As soon as I hear music, something in me starts to vibrate.
The wonderful thing about life it that there will always be variables. You have to see them and be aware of them to know how to react to them.
On the other hand, I think it is wonderful for everyone to take ballet classes, at any age. It gives you a discipline, it gives you a place to go. It gives you some control in your life.
I didn`t have any doubts about my choice of career, but I had constant doubts about my ability, yes.
When you are on stage, you don`t see faces. The lights are in your eyes and you see just this black void out in front of you. And yet you know there is life out there, and you have to get your message across.
It brought out in me the person whom I had the potential to become. I think that`s why I loved it for its own sake, not to be a ballerina.
I liked tap, because I liked hearing the results of my movements.
I liked Latin, I like languages, I liked all the myths, and the Roman tales that we were required to translate in Latin, and all these interesting people who were never quite what they thought they would be or seemed to be.
That the work involved, the willingness to take chances, the commitment, the opportunity to get on stage and make people happy, was more important than becoming famous, or even what I was dancing.
I could work out a lot of my emotions by going to class and dancing.
My mother was very interested in giving her daughters the advantage of music and dance, if we had an interest in it. My father was not.
Once I started dancing, I was not the spoiled brat or the rebellious child that I was as a child.
And I just thought, this is what I want to be. And I knew that dancing would be my chosen profession.
I loved tests because it was another form of competing, a healthy competition.
I`m thought of as a cool, unemotional dancer, but inside I`m not.
So dancing was not something I had a great desire to do.
I learned to love dance for its own sake.
You don`t learn from a situation where you do something well. You enjoy it and you give yourself credit, but you don`t really learn from that. You learn from trial and error, trial and error, all the time.
The body can do amazing things in a situation when it is really called for.
I think especially in a world where you have so little say about what goes on in your life, or in the politics of the world around you, it is wonderful to go into that studio, and tell yourself what to do.
When you get on stage, you can be anything. You are removed from reality in a way, the real world.
I liked to read but, being a dancer, I didn`t have a lot of time to read.
Of course, in the art class, I was the model.
I used to love to play dress-up, where you get your mother`s or your grandmother`s dresses and high heels.
The particular ballet was not so important as the fact that I was physically healthy, and capable of getting out there and dancing as often as possible.
I had two sisters, and we would love to get dressed up and pretend that we were chic, sophisticated ladies. And I think that was a great sort of preparation, in a way.
It`s ungrateful to be wishing you were doing something else at the moment you are living. You haven`t lived in the moment that you are really living, you are wishing you were somewhere else.