Sandra Bernhard Quotes

I think people are a little bit intimidated by me. You know, I`m not exactly a wilting flower, so I think they`re a little bit scared of me sometimes.

My father was a proctologist and my mother was an abstract artist, so that`s how I view the world.

I`m the only actress in Hollywood who didn`t pay to have these lips.

I`m very much an optimist. I don`t think I could do my work if I didn`t believe there was some kind of hope for humanity.

Smut, if it`s really smut, there`s nothing backing it up. It`s the easy way out.

I really have a problem with any kind of drug, I always have.

Everybody has their own way of tapping into their realness.

I think (comedy) is definitely a more male oriented field--social commentary, political commentary--I think it`s just easier for men to get up and say whatever they want. But I don`t think there`s that many women who really want to put their toe in the water either. It`s not the easiest life or lifestyle to get out there and kind of shake the s*** up.

I`m studying Kabbalah, which is really the essence of Jewish spirituality.

When people pay to see you live, they connect with you on a much deeper level than people who just buy your records.

I like the energy of live performance.

I`m sure that Jesus was an incredible person.

The real terrorist threats are George W. Bush and his band of brown-shirted thugs.

There are few performers who would have had the audacity to even bring up the fact that they had been poorly reviewed.

Unfortunately, most college kids these days aren`t coming from any place-they seem to ask the same kind of questions over and over again.

Gayness is a non-issue.

I don`t consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes.

I think I`ve drawn from some of the most feminine women, like Jackie Kennedy. I am totally devastated that she`s gone. She had it all.

When you`re constantly looking for things from other people, you`re not looking within yourself.

That disturbs people when they know they didn`t have the guts or integrity to stick to their dreams.

I really, really love Hilary Clinton. I think she`s very cool. She`s out there and she`s involved.

At some point, the pride has to be a part of the whole day-to-day oeuvre. It`s part of who you are and doesn`t need to be discussed anymore.

I`m very much a humanist. I`m very much pro-choice. I`m very much politically correct.

I tend to go against the grain because when I start to see that everybody`s trying to shock, I try not to. I just do stuff that`s subtler, more emotional, and I think that shocks people.

I don`t believe in karma.

She`s like jazz. She created her own beat. - friend and fellow comedian Paul Mooney

I`ve become this sort of icon for the gay community. I don`t like the position.

Anything that has cynicism to it and that`s jaded is smutty.

I can`t tell you 100 percent what makes a relationship work. But I can see something good coming and I can see something bad coming.

When you`re watching the news, how many days in a row can you watch that and feel good about yourself and the world?

There are so few women in general who aren`t completely threatened and confused by other women`s success. It`s very disappointing.

I don`t like surgery. I don`t like elective surgery, I don`t like surgery that you have to have.

I`m trying to appeal to the disenfranchised everybody, not just specifically gay.