When it comes to losing with United, I feel solely responsible for it. I can`t help it. My brain will work like mad after a defeat. I want to know where I have made the wrong decisions, how I could have changed things for this fantastic club.
Losing is not in my vocabulary.
Nobody understands how much I gear myself up for these big matches. I charge up and I get fired up as if I have to let a timebomb go off.
The country life near Manchester I really love.
Italy and Spain really are not my countries.
If you start to find that kind of luxury as a normal thing, you don`t belong in the real world.
Because people have read those things in the newspapers, they think it is true. Ten years ago all these things I have just mentioned would have upset me.
My back to the goal, physically fighting off defenders, trying to bang my goals in, every week I have to do the business for this club. That`s the life of a striker.
In that match for Holland I asked for a big responsibility, I got it and I dealt with it. I played well, I scored goals and the team qualified for the Euro 2004 finals. It was a big night and an important moment for Holland.
In fact, I have to admit that since coming to Manchester United I have started to live two lives. I have to do that, if I want to survive here.
Most of the pressure comes from myself, not from others. I don`t need a manager or a pundit to put pressure on me. I do all that myself before others do it.
Certain things do not effect me anymore, which is not always good. There is always commotion, but I notice that hardly anything affects me or puts me out of balance.
I feel very strong as an individual, but as a famous footballer I know I am prone to certain things. All the media have a continuous interest for me. It varies from once a year to every day interest.
In Spain and Italy I would not have a life among the fans. Everyone wants to touch you, own you and approach you. I try to be as kind as possible to all my fans, but in those countries I could not do it. There they ask too much from you.
Every day I work my guts out in training, every match I play my heart out.
As a private person I think I am now totally different from Ruud van Nistelrooy the footballer.
When we got knocked out against Porto in the Champions League, I only slept two hours that night. I was not a nice person to be with after that match. I was struggling to get the result out of my system.
But really, I can only be dangerous for the team in one place, and that is in the box.
The real big stars only keep this up for about seven years.
I really want be of great value for the team.
That kind of wealth made me sick. Everyone is entitled to be rich and to earn a lot of money. But you have to know what is normal and what is not.
I think we have really integrated well around Manchester. This is the place where we feel at home. We like it here, we love the English way of life and we prefer it much, much more than the south of Europe.
We have to be thankful to the Czechs that they did their duty. The Czech Republic won, I can`t believe it. It was a huge party with all the people here.
Because of that I don`t care when I read in the newspaper that I am colourblind. I went through a red light in my car and I stopped when I before a green light. So I must be really colourblind, eh?
Of course I have the odd bad game like other players. But I can`t accept that. Especially when things don`t go right for United. It all means so much to me to be succesful here. It drives me crazy at times.
I personally think that we can win the World Cup. We are improving with every game. With such a young average age in the squad we can only carry on improving.
People say it is part of the game. You win some, you lose some. But not for me.
But Manchester United, I have discovered, is also an institute which is hated at the same time in a way that cannot be described by anybody.
I let people say and write what they want.
If I don`t get the service or if I don`t the ball in the box, where I want it, I start drifting into midfield. I go and look for the ball. I try to be important for the team in other areas.