Russell Brand Quotes

It would have been convenient to be gay. Just because of the grooming, the narcissism, stuff like that. But I have this kind of roaring heterosexuality. Traditional, uncomplicated heterosexuality, an almost clichéd Robin Askwith thing. People have always said, are you gay? I`ve had a lot of that. But it`s just not in me. I really like women a lot; I`m repulsed by men sexually.

I couldn't possibly have sex with someone with such a slender grasp on grammar!

I like threesomes with two women, not because I'm a cynical sexual predator. Oh no! But because I'm a romantic. I'm looking for "The One." And I'll find her more quickly if I audition two at a time.

Have you been out in society recently? 'Cause it's SHIT.

All penguins are the same below the surface, which I think is as perfect an analogy as we're likely to get for the futility of racism.

Life’s never a postcard of life, is it? It never feels like how you’d want it to look.

People don't realize that the future is just now, but later.

My life is just a series of embarrassing incidents strung together by telling people about those embarrassing incidents.