Robert Orben Quotes

To err is human - and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I`m not there, I go to work.

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected.

A compliment is verbal sunshine

There`s so much pollution in the air now that if it weren`t for our lungs there`d be no place to put it all.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Inflation is bringing us true democracy. For the first time in history, luxuries and necessities are selling at the same price.

Older people shouldn`t eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

Washington is a place where politicians don`t know which way is up and taxes don`t know which way is down.