Phyllis Diller Quotes

If it weren`t for baseball, many kids wouldn`t know what a millionaire looked like.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.

I want my children to have all the things I couldn`t afford. Then I want to move in with them.

My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor

A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.