Ogden Nash Quotes

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.

I think that I shall never see a billboard lovely as a tree. Perhaps, unless the billboards fall, I`ll never see a tree at all.

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven`t what they want that they really don`t want it.

Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.

Candy Is dandy But liquor Is quicker.

Middle age is when you`ve met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else.

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you set about retiring them

Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it

One man`s remorse is another man`s reminiscence

Daybreak is one of the greatest disadvantages of living under the solar system: It means having to get up almost the very minute you go to bed, And bathe and shave and scrub industriously at your molar system And catch a train and go to the office an

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late.

Middle age is when you`re sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn`t for you