Kathy Griffin Quotes

I was raised right-I talk about people behind their backs

Gwyneth Paltrow names her kid Apple. I`m not going to let that stand.

I`m always listening and watching; my ear is like a boom mike. And judging, frankly. Constantly judging.

I have friends who are going through chemotherapy, and they make the darkest, most hideous cancer jokes you`ve ever heard.

So I wonder if anything should ever be off limits.

That`s what I loved about Temptation Island. I don`t even know why they did it.

I`m also doing a special for Comedy Central called Autobiography. It`s going to be a spoof of Biography.

So yes, I say things I regret constantly, and I just can`t help it.

I also love Mole, the unsung hero of reality programming.

My act has always reflected what`s going on in my life.

But if something funny happens, I can`t resist. I have to tell the people.

The thing that cracks me up is how these reality characters start out thrilled and excited just to be on television, and how they move to thinking they are as big as the Friends.

I hate it, it is tedious... when I write for my act, it is very improvisational, I write bullet points, I cannot sit in front of a computer; that is not my style.

I`m on every worst-dressed list imaginable.

A lot of stars don`t have a sense of humor.

Food is my thing, I do not smoke or drink, so food is my vice.

The beauty about the D-list is that people who are on it probably don`t know they are.

It was a nightmare having cameras in the house 10 hours a day for a month.

Well, my whole thing with gossip is I couldn`t care less if it`s true.

I`m basically always on tour.

I`m not always in that good with middle-aged heterosexual men.

I love Mariah Carey. Remember the breakdown? I loved the breakdown.

The fact that that really is my life, and that my husband Matt - who you see on the show - is like the most normal guy in the world.

I think a Celebrity Survivor would be great.

If you see me on Friday, you`ll see different material on Saturday night.

I love to make fun of fashion because it is just so silly.

I am in love with Larry David.

A lot of celebrities, especially when you`re talking about the really big ones, live in what I call the fame bubble. Nobody ever says no to them or challenges them or even teases them.

I don`t like doing movies, period. Movies are hard. I like TV.

That`s life when you`re on the D-list.

No, I love Montreal... I think I love Montreal more than Montreal loves me... I love the food there.

I can say whatever I want. So do not bring the kids. It`s definitely rated R.

The thing that bums me out about The Real World is I don`t want to believe that teenagers are that stupid.

I do road gigs occasionally but I don`t want to go out on the road for months at a time.

I actually have to pick and chose stuff that I know I`m going to bomb at.

There are lots of little mom and pop furniture stores in L.A., which is perfect for me because I like to mix the old with the new.

Honestly, you know, after David`s death, we weren`t nearly as invested in the show. (On how she and her "Suddenly Susan" (1996) colleagues were affected by the suicide of their co-star David Strickland).

I was raised right - I talk about people behind their backs.

My act is based on my life.

Have I gone too far?

My parents sent me to Catholic school, which only made me the vehement militant atheist that I am today.

I’m sick to death of Jesus. I feel that Jesus and Paris Hilton are both overexposed. I’ve seen enough of both of them. And I think I’m getting more atheist because of the way the country is getting more into Bible- thumping.