Judy Tenuta Quotes

Nothing makes my day more than when someone comes up to me and says I bring them joy. That`s why I do it, to make people laugh their butts off and forget about their problems.

My mother always told me I wouldn`t amount to anything because I procrastinate. I said `Just wait.`

How many of you have ever started dating because you were too lazy to commit suicide?

This guy says, "I`m perfect for you, `cause I`m a cross between a macho man and a sensitive man." I said, "Oh, a gay trucker?"