Jimmy Durante Quotes

(referring to his funny looks as a child) I`d go home (from school) and cry. I made up my mind never to hurt anybody else, no matter what. I never made jokes about anybody`s big ears, crossed eyes, or their stuttering.

(ad-libbing with Bob Hope) When it comes to noses, you`re a retailer. I`m a wholesaler!

I hate music, especially when it`s played.

“Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.”

“Good night, Mrs Calabash, wherever you are!”

All of us have schnozzles . . . if not in our faces, then in our character, minds or habits. When we admit our schnozzles, instead of defending them, we begin to laugh, and the world laughs with us.”

“My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.”

Why can`t everybody leave everybody else the hell alone”

Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did.”

When I got through with him, he was all covered wit` blood, my blood”

Man is the only animal that can be skinned more than once.”

Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.