Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

A recent survey stated that the average person`s greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you`re telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

(about pregnancy and babies) It`s like getting ready for your own birth. Nothing prepares you . . . When those eyes meet your eyes -- I was feeling things I never had feelings like before. I never loved anyone so much at first meeting. I love her so much! But! - Let`s make no mistake why these babies come here: to replace us. Their first words are "Mama", "Dada" and "Bye-bye". We`ll see who`s wearing the diapers when this is all over.

(on whether family life produces better comedy than bachelorhood )The truth is, the family is much more creatively nourishing because you`re playing on a full keyboard. Whereas when you`re single, you`re just playing the upbeat jazzy tunes.

You can be passionate about anything. Pay attention, don`t let life go by you. Fall in love with the back of your cereal box.

There is no such thing as "fun for the whole family."

About pregnancy and babies: "It`s like getting ready for your own birth. Nothing prepares you ... When those eyes meet your eyes -- I was feeling things I never had feelings like before. I never loved anyone so much at first meeting. I love her so much! But! - Let`s make no mistake why these babies come here: to replace us. Their first words are `Mama,` `Dada` and `Bye-bye.` We`ll see who`s wearing the diapers when this is all over."

It`s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.

(On whether family life produces better comedy than bachelorhood) The truth is, the family is much more creatively nourishing because you`re playing on a full keyboard. Whereas, when you`re single, you`re just playing the upbeat jazzy tunes."

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God`s final word on where your lips end.

A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.

According to most studies, people`s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you`re better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.