Homer Simpson Quotes

Alright Brain, you don`t like me, and I don`t like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.

Homer: (drunk) Look, the thing about my family is there`s five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn`t talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it`s not whether you win or lose; it`s how drunk you get.

Just because I don`t care doesn`t mean I don`t understand.

Owww look at me Marge, I`m making people Happy! I`m the magical man, from Happy Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lolly Pop Lane!!!!...... By the way I was being sarcastic...

You tried your best and failed miserably. The lesson is: never try.

How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

If at first you don`t succeed, give up.

I`m not normally a praying man, but if you`re up there, please save me, Superman!

When will I learn? The answer to life`s problems aren`t at the bottom of a bottle, they`re on TV!

Mmm... Organized Crime