George S. Kaufman Quotes

I like terra firma -- the more firma, the less terra.

When a community theater group was caught performing one of Kaufman`s plays without permission or payment of royalties, Kaufman threatened to send them to jail for theft. The theater director thought they didn`t need to pay royalties because, as he put it, "It`s just a small, insignificant, little theater in a small, insignificant, little town." Kaufman`s reply: "Then we`ll send you all to a small, insignificant, little jail."

Garson Kanin said, "George S. Kaufman ranks without peer as the wit of the American twentieth century. George`s comment, George`s cool-off, George`s swiftness to pick up the answer was breath-taking.... He was taciturn. He didn`t say much, but what he did say was stringent, always to the point, cutting, acid, true or true enough. Which was his great trick. His trick of wit and his trick of criticism wasn`t that he found what was true, but he would find what was true enough".

At dramatic rehearsals, the only author that`s better than an absent one is a dead one.

The kind of doctor I want is one who when he`s not examining me is home studying medicine.

Office hours are from 12 to 1 with an hour off for lunch.

Satire is what closes on Saturday night.

I like terra firma; the more firma, the less terra.

When I was born I owed twelve dollars.

I understand your new play is full of single entendres.

Epitaph for a dead waiter - God finally caught his eye.