George F. Burns Quotes

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can`t remember if it`s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn`t ask me, I`d still have to say it.

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty