Ed O'Neill Quotes

When I read the pilot (for "Married with Children" (1987)), it just reminded me of my Uncle Joe...just a self-deprecating kind of guy. He`d come home from work, and the wife would maybe say, `I ran over the dog this morning in the driveway`. And he would say `Fine, what`s for dinner?`"

All this flying around got on my nerves. But then I gave the script to Cathy to get her opinion. When she started to laugh, it was like `That`s it!`. I went to LA and I got the part.

That`s a big deal for kids, when they come into the kitchen and the teacher is drinking coffee with mom. They react differently on the next day when you say: `Sit down and shut-up!`

I knew I was a good stage actor but I had no idea about movies. And I wasn`t a Paul Newman type of guy. That`s why I thought the stage is just right for me.

I think I `turn off` women. I`ve a kind of a weird personality. Women may think that I`m a mess.

I took a plane from New York City to Los Angeles for an audition. I met all the people. After that, I was told to have another audition, but I didn`t want to go there again.

Security was another reason. You never know what can happen to you when you earn a lot of money.

I went to Ohio University studying arts and history, and playing football. But I was only interested in girls, my pals and sports. I only did the minimum for school.

In the summer we graduated we flipped out completely, drinking beer, cruising in our cars and beating up each other. It was a crazy summer. That`s when I started to be interested in girls.

When I read the pilot (for "Married with Children" (1987)), it just reminded me of my Uncle Joe...just a self-deprecating kind of guy. He`d come home from work, and the wife would maybe say, `I ran over the dog this morning in the driveway`. And he would say `Fine, what`s for dinner?`"

I was very slender and small. All my friends were on the team, so I had to make it too. I was a very aggressive player. I wanted to be one of the best, but I just ended up as one of the good ones.

Back then I said to myself `screw football.` Actually I just took part in this camp as there was nothing better for me to do. They also didn`t draft me because they thought I was too wild and undisciplined.

I`d loved to wear jeans and t-shirts, but everybody was in the peace movement back then. And that was my ploy. I had to be careful not to say things like `I like meat.` Actually I just wanted to drink beer and to screw.

Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer.