Douglas Adams Quotes

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.

In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

Life... is like a grapefruit. It`s orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don`t.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

You live and learn. At any rate, you live.

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase `As pretty as an Airport` appear.

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.

He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which.

Space is big. You just won`t believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it`s a long way down the road to the chemist`s, but that`s just peanuts to space.

Even he, to whom most things that most people would think were pretty smart were pretty dumb, thought it was pretty smart.

The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79.

He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.

He hoped and prayed that there wasn`t an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn`t an afterlife.

Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word `safe` that I wasn`t previously aware of.

We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!

Space is big. You just won`t believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it`s a long way down the road to the drug store, but that`s just peanuts to space.

The mere thought hadn`t even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.

The difficulty with this conversation is that it`s very different from most of the ones I`ve had of late. Which, as I explained, have mostly been with trees.

The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks.

I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be.

There is a theory which states that if ever for any reason anyone discovers what exactly the Universe is for and why it is here it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another that states that this has already happened.

It`s no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase "As pretty as an airport" appear

Many men of course became extremely rich, but this was perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of because no one was really poor, at least no one worth speaking of.

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair

He hoped and prayed that there wasn`t an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn`t an afterlife.

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don`t know the answer

Man has always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much...the wheel, New York, wars and so on...while all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man...for precisely the same reason.

Totally mad. Utter nonsense. But we`ll do it because it`s brilliant nonsense.

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.

Ah, this is obviously some strange usage of the word `safe` that I wasn`t previously aware of

Isn`t it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?

Life is wasted on the living.

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.