Demetri Martin Quotes


Demetri Martin

I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.

One of my favorite clothing patterns is camouflage. Because when you`re in the woods it makes you blend in. But when you`re not it does just the opposite. It`s like "hey, there`s an asshole."