Dean Martin Quotes
"If people want to think I get drunk and stay out all night, let `em. That`s how I got here, you know."
"I`ve got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are `hello,` `goodbye,` and `I`m pregnant."
To those who felt he joked his way through songs during concert and nightclub appearences: "You wanna hear it straight, buy the album."
Upon filing for divorce from his second wife: "I know it`s the gentlemanly thing to let the wife file. But, then, everybody knows I`m no gentleman."
On Joey Bishop: Most people think of Joey Bishop as just a replacement for Johnny Carson. That`s NOT true. We in show business know better: we don`t think of him at ALL.
On Phyllis Diller: Phyllis is the women of about whom Picasso once said, "Somebody throw a drop cloth over that."
On Frank Sinatra: In high school, Frank never participated in extra-curricular activities, like nature study, paintings or ceramics. Frank`s hobby was a most interesting one: he was an amateur gynecologist.
On James Stewart: There`s a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks better than he does.
On his tee-total friend Pat Boone: "I once shook hands with Pat Boone, and my whole right side sobered up!"
"I`d hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that`s as good as you`re going to feel all day."
"I can`t stand an actor or actress who tells me acting is hard work. It`s easy work. Anyone who says it isn`t never had to stand on his feet all day dealing blackjack."
"Motivation is a lotta crap."
"Someone else, would have laid around, feeling sorry for himself, for a year. But Duke, he just doesn`t know, how to be sick ... he`s recuperating the hard way. He`s two loud speaking guys in one. Me, when people see me, they sometimes say, `Oh, there goes Perry Como.` But there`s only one `John Wayne`, and nobody makes any mistakes about that." - On The Sons of Katie Elder (1965)
(on singer Eddie Fisher) The reason I drink is because when I`m sober I think I`m Eddie Fisher.
(on Frank Sinatra) When he dies, they`re giving his zipper to the Smithsonian.
(on Jerry Lewis) At some point he said to himself, "I`m extraordinary, like Charles Chaplin." From then on nobody could tell him anything. He knew it all.
If you drink, don`t drive. Don`t even putt.
Someone else, would have laid around, feeling sorry for himself, for a year. But Duke, he just doesn`t know, how to be sick ... he`s recuperating the hard way. He`s two loud speaking guys in one. Me, when people see me, they sometimes say, `Oh, there goes Perry Como.` But there`s only one `John Wayne`, and nobody makes any mistakes about that. - On The Sons of Katie Elder (1965)
On Johnny Carson: Johnny Carson is a comedian who is seen every night in millions of bedrooms all over America...and that`s why his last wife left him.
On Orson Welles: What can you say about Orson Welles that Don Rickles hasn`t already said about him?!
If people want to think I get drunk and stay out all night, let `em. That`s how I got here, you know.
Motivation is a lotta crap.
On Joey Bishop: Most people think of Joey Bishop as just a replacement for Johnny Carson. That`s NOT true. We in show business know better: we don`t think of him at ALL.
(on singer Eddie Fisher) The reason I drink is because when I`m sober I think I`m Eddie Fisher.
(on Jerry Lewis) At some point he said to himself, "I`m extraordinary, like Charles Chaplin." From then on nobody could tell him anything. He knew it all.
I`d hate to be a teetotaler. Imagine getting up in the morning and knowing that`s as good as you`re going to feel all day.
Upon filing for divorce from his second wife: "I know it`s the gentlemanly thing to let the wife file. But, then, everybody knows I`m no gentleman."
(on Shirley MacLaine) Shirley, I love her, but her oars aren`t touching the water these days.
I drink because my body craves, needs alcohol. I don`t drink, my body`s a drunk.
I`ve got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are `hello,` `goodbye,` and `I`m pregnant.
On Milton Berle: Milton Berle is an inspiration to every young person that wants to get into show business. Hard work, perseverance, and discipline: all the things you need...when you have no talent.
On Don Rickles: Don`s idea of a fun evening is to show home movies of the attack on Pearl Harbor...with a laugh track.
On Frank Sinatra: In high school, Frank never participated in extra-curricular activities, like nature study, paintings or ceramics. Frank`s hobby was a most interesting one: he was an amateur gynecologist.
(on Frank Sinatra) When he dies, they`re giving his zipper to the Smithsonian.
On Phyllis Diller: Phyllis is the women of about whom Picasso once said, "Somebody throw a drop cloth over that."
On his tee-total friend Pat Boone: "I once shook hands with Pat Boone, and my whole right side sobered up!"
To those who felt he joked his way through songs during concert and nightclub appearences: "You wanna hear it straight, buy the album."
I can`t stand an actor or actress who tells me acting is hard work. It`s easy work. Anyone who says it isn`t never had to stand on his feet all day dealing blackjack.
On Bob Hope: As a young boy, Bob didn`t have much to say. He couldn`t afford writers then.
On James Stewart: There`s a statue of Jimmy Stewart in the Hollywood Wax Museum, and the statue talks better than he does.
If you drink don`t drive. Don`t even putt.
