David Jason Quotes

Next week we will be millionaires (Only Fools and Horses)

I`ve never ever `felt my age`, whatever that means. I think that there are a lot of people who feel 22 when in fact they`re 62, and there are a lot of youngsters out there who behave as if they were four times their age. It`s an attitude of mind, isn`t it?

Working with Ronnie was always a joy and were without doubt some of the best years of my career. The world of entertainment has lost a huge talent.

It was a long time before TV wanted me - I would have had to commit murder to get a part on the box at one time.

Everybody can watch the two characters-well, not just the two characters but the whole show-and know that everybody`s a ruddy fool! We`re just there to entertain people and it works. It`s great-and we need a bit more of that in this day and age, don`t we?

When you get kids helping kids, it`s really a heartwarming story.

Marriage is like throwing yourself into a river when you only wanted a drink of water.

I`m getting fed up of living away from home so much. They look after you very well but it doesn`t matter how well you`re looked after, how nice the hotel is, if you`re away from home constantly, the bloody dog savages you, thinks you`re a stranger, the kid cries and the wife`s stuck to your face!

I`ve done my fair share of waiting on tables in restaurants, cleaning cars, whatever. I was even an electrician at one time, and I`ve done my fair bit of decorating, too. But slowly my fortunes changed.

Perhaps being a character actor on radio was, in retrospect, the best training I could get.

I`ve been fascinated by deep sea diving since watching `Jacques Cousteau``s TV programmes as a lad.

"This time next year, we'll be millionaires!" -Derek (Del Boy) Trotter.
Only Fools And Horses.

"You know it makes sense."
-Derek (Del Boy) Trotter.
Only Fools And Horses.

"What a plonker!"
-Derek (Del Boy) Trotter.
Only Fools And Horses.

"Oh shut up you tart!"
-Derek (Del Boy) Trotter.
Only Fools And Horses.

"You....dipstick!"
-Derek (Del Boy) Trotter.
Only Fools And Horses.

"Lovely Jubbly"-Del Boy
Only Fools And Horse.

"Lovely Jubbly in-it!"
-Del Trotter
Only Fools and Horses

"The doctors have been trying to take his hat off, but he wouldn't have none of it. they gave him an x-ray yesterday and they found out he got a pulled ligament in the wallet and a severe fraying of the trilby."

-Del Boy talking about Grandfather in the hospital.
Only Fools And Horses

"What's you game pal?"
-Del Trotter
Only Fools And Horses

"That's not the bogeyman.....that's my Grandad."-Del Trotter
Only Fools And Horses.

"He who dares....wins."
-Del Boy
Only Fools And Horses.

"He who dares......wins, he who doesn't.....don't?"
-Del Boy words of wisdom
Only Fools And Horses.

"Yeah, I used to miss my Dad.....until I learnt to punch straight."
-Del Trotter
Only Fools And Horses

'What a wally!"-Del Trotter
Only Fools And Horses

"What a wally brain."
-Del Boy
Only Fools And Horses

"What's the point about talking about "ifs"?....If me brother had been a bird, he would have been me sister, eh?"-Del Trotter
Only Fools And Horses

"Rodneys all right. He's reached that awkward age....bit like a trifle....He's thick and fruity."
-Del Trotter Only Fools And Horses

"You little plonker."-Del Trotter
Only Fools And Horses

"You little plonker Rodney."
-Del Boy in Only Fools And Horses

"Well he's celebrating aint he. Hasn't
he told you? He's heard from the clinic, he's got an all clear."
-Del Trotter talking to Rodney's girlfriend in Only Fools And Horses

"Same again love.....that's a Singapore Sling and half a Strongbow."
-Del Trotter
Only Fools And Horses

"Can you smell that?.....What is it?....Sheep is it?....It's cows.....No.....I know what it is, it's bullshit!"
-Del Trotter to Micky
in Only Fools And Horses

"Leave it out Micky. I can always tell when you're lying......your lips move."
-Del Boy to Micky in
Only Fools And Horses

"Pot-Pourri!"
-Del Trotter in Only Fools & Horses

"Our Mum was a lovely lady Rodney. She had long blond hair.....sometimes."
-Del Boy in Only Fools & Horses

"Say you had got married to her eh? You can see what kind of confusion that would have led to. I would have been your father-in-law, your mother-in-law would have been your aunt. Your wife would have been your second cousin. Gawd knows what that would have made Grandad?......The fairy god mother!"
-Del Trotter to Rodney Trotter in Only Fools and Horses.

"Gordon Bennet!"-Del Boy in Only Fools & Horses

"Would you adam and eve it?"
-Del Boy left his wallet at home.
Only Fools And Horses

"Go on my son!"
-Del Boy in Only Fools And Horses

"Listen to me. If that birds laid an egg, I'm gonna kill you!"
-Del Boy in Only Fools and Horses

"It's the jolly boy's outing."
-Del Trotter in
ONLY FOOLS & HORSES

"I feel like a turkey who's just caught Bernard Matthews grinning at him."
-Del Boy in Only Fools And Horses.

"Git!"
-DEL TROTTER in ONLY FOOLS & HORSES

"Trotter's Independant Traders"
-Del Boy answers the telephone in
ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES

"Wake up and listen to your brother when he's being dynamic!"
-Del Trotter in ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES

"Well, it's just us two now bruv. Me and you against the rest...Nah...They don't stand a bloody chance."
-Del Boy talking to Rodney just after Grandad passed away.
ONLY FOOLS & HORSES

"All the lads remember Marlene."
-Del Boy in ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES

"All right JOHN!"
-Del Boy in ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES

"Albie Littlewood?......
Albie Littlewood.... My bestest friend in all the world. The greatest pal a bloke could have. And all the time he was doinking my bird."
-Del Trotter in ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES

"Did you know Grandad was taught to cook at one of London's biggest establishments. Straight up. He was a trainee chef at the Ear, Nose and Throat Hospital."
-Del Trotter in ONLY FOOLS & HORSES

"He's got more front that Brighton Beach!"
-DEL BOY in ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES

"Perfick"
-Pop Larkin in THE DARLING BUDS OF MAY.

"Do you....by any chance....like fireworks?"
-POP LARKIN in THE DARLING BUDS OF MAY.

"Ere, Rodney, I've been thinking. I'm gonna have a vasectomy."
-Derek Trotter

"Me and Raquel, we only gotta look at each other and she's three months gone."
-Derek Trotter in ONLY FOOLS & HORSES.

"Yeah I know, but the Doctor reckons I got more tadpoles than they got in the serpentine."
-Derek Trotter in ONLY FOOLS & HORSES.

"Will you shut up Albert! Can't you see Rodney and I are in the middle of an important board meeting! We don't want to hear stories of U boats and giant squid!
-Derek Trotter in ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES.

'Rodney.......How can I put this?
SHUT UP!"
-Derek Trotter in ONLY FOOLS & HORSES.

"Let's go down to Sid's caff. Whenever we reach historic moments like this, I feel like a fry up."
-Derek Trotter in ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES.

"Just remember Rodney, never stop believing." See Mum, she never stopped believing..... even after you was born."
-Derek Trotter in ONLY FOOLS & HORSES.

"Treacherous little git!"
-Dererk Trotter to Rodney in ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES.

Vive La France as they say in Rome."

David Jason as "Derek Trotter" in "Only Fools And Horses.

Well, Mon Dieu! Mon Dieu!

Well, Mon Dieu! Mon Dieu!
"Derek Trotter" in "ONLY FOOLS & HORSES"

"AH oui, Je t'aime. Je ta'adore, Sur La pont d'Avignon."
Del Boy in ONLY FOOLS & HORSES.

"Apres moi, Love the Luge."
Derek Trotter in ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES.

"Oh, a La bruchette!"
Derek Trotter in ONLY FOOLS AND HORSES.