Dane Cook Quotes

You know you`re drunk when you think that the cab fare is the time.

I like fearless characters, people just not afraid to do anything it takes to make people laugh.

I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don`t think I`m funny.

I had never done a roast, but I really wanted to, because it`s so different from standup.

It`s not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.

I`m a late-night guy.

Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!

I don`t write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.

Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.

I get so into the moment.

If you use tact you can say anything, then make it funny.

I`m quitting the business today. I`m going to open up an appliance store, I`ve always really been into toasters. I`m giving it all up.

You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.

I`ve lived in LA for so long, I don`t even know what is real and what isn`t any more.

I`m always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.

In school I was pretty quiet. Kinda shy until my junior year. But at home I was a freak.

I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.

My fam is just a regular family. But all of them have great senses of humor.

When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.

I`m shooting a pilot based on my show. It`s a one-camera show. I play myself.

I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.

That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.

Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He`ll come to a lot of my shows. It`s not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.

I don`t laugh out loud at comics a lot.