Chuck Palahniuk Quotes

If you could be God`s worst enemy or nothing, which would you choose?

All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.

Being tired isn`t the same as being rich, but most times it`s close enough.

This is why I loved the support groups so much. If people thought you were dying, they gave you their full attention. If this might be the last time they saw you, they really saw you. People listened instead of just waiting for their turn to speak. And when they spoke, they weren`t telling you a story. When the two of you talked, you were building something, and afterward you were both different than before.

When we don`t know who to hate, we hate ourselves.

No fear. No distractions. The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.

People don`t want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messes cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown.

Don`t do what you want. Do what you don`t want. Do what you`re trained not to want. Do the things that scare you the most.

Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I`ve ever known.

The best way is not to fight it, just go. Don`t be trying all the time to fix things. What you run from only stays with you longer. When you fight something, you only make it stronger.

Masochism is a valuable job skill.

The only reason why we ask other people how their weekend was is so we can tell them about our own weekend.

It happens fast for some people and slow for some, accidents or gravity, but we all end up mutilated.

The things you own end up owning you.

Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have left of our education.

The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person.

On game shows, some people will take the trip to France, but most people will take the washer dryer pair.

It`s not living alone if you keep a rifle under the bed.

On a long enough timeline. The survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

Hysteria is only possible with an audience.

Someone bent on suicide won`t have much sense of humor left.

The idea that I can`t share my problems with other people makes me not give a shit about their problems.

People are all over the world telling their one dramatic story and how their life has turned into getting over this one event. Now their lives are more about the past than their future.

With a gun stuck in your mouth and the barrel of the gun between your teeth, you can only talk in vowels.

Which is worse: Hell or nothing?

We`re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War`s a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives.

The most boring thing in the entire world is nudity. The second most boring thing is honesty.

It`s only after we`ve lost everything that we`re free to do anything.

We just had a near-life experience!

A minute of perfection was worth the effort. A moment was the most you could ever expect from perfection.

And maybe you don`t go to hell for the things you do. Maybe you go to hell for the things you don`t do.

Either a species learns to control its own population, or something like disease, famine, war, will take care of the issue.

I admire addicts. In a world where everybody is waiting for some bline, random disaster, or some sudden disease, the addict has the comfort of knowing what will most likely wait for him down the road. He`s taken some control over his ultimate fate, and his addiction keeps the cause of death from being a total surprise.

Nothing is static. Even the Mona Lisa is falling apart. Since fight club, I can wiggle half the teeth in my jaw.

That old saying, how you always hurt the one you love, well, it works both ways

Your parents, they give you your life, but then they try to give you their life.

You can kill a lifetime without feeling anything but skin.

Love me, I`ll be anyobdy you want me to be. Use me. Change me. I can be thin with big breasts and big hair. Take me apart. Make me into anything, but just love me.

It`s easy to cry when you realize that everyone you love will reject you or die.

Funerals are all abstract ceremony.

Las Vegas looks the way you`d imagine heaven must look at night.

You buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the last sofa I will ever need in my life. Buy the sofa, then for a couple years you`re satisfied that no matter what goes wrong, at least you`ve got your sofa issue handled. Then the right set of dishes. Then the perfect bed. The drapes. The rug. Then you`re trapped in your lovely nest, and the things you used to own, now they own you.

If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?

We all die. The goal isn`t to live forever, the goal is to create something that will.

People have to really suffer before they can risk doing what they love.

The gyms you go to are crowded with guys trying to look like men, as being a man means looking the way a sculptor or an art director says.

The first step to eternal life, is you have to die.

Disaster is a natural part of my evolution. Toward tragedy and dissolution.

Just remember, the same as a spectacular Vogue magazine, remember that no matter how close you follow the jumps: Continued on page whatever. No matter how careful you are, there`s going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under your skin that you didn`t experience it all. There`s that fallen heart feeling that you rushed right through the moments where you should`ve been paying attention. Well, get used to that feeling. That`s how your whole life will feel some day. This is all practice. None of this matters. We`re just warming up.

Maybe we have to break everything to make something better out of ourselves.

If death meant just leaving the stage long enough to change costume and come back as a new character...Would you slow down? Or speed up?

Your birth is a mistake you`ll spend your whole life trying to correct.

Your folks are like God because you want to know they`re out there and you want them to approve of your life, still you only call them when you`re in a crisis and need something.

Only after disaster can we be ressurected.

'Our real discoveries come from chaos, from going to the place that looks wrong and stupid and foolish.'

Did you ever think about life as a metaphor for television?

Imagine books and music and movies being filtered and homogenized. Certified. Approved for consumption. People will be happy to give up most of their culture for the assurance that the tiny bit that comes through is safe and clean. White noise.

If you tell folks you`re a college student, folks are so impressed. You can be a student in anything and not have to know anything. Just say toxicology or marine biokinesis, and the person you`re talking to will change the subject to himself. If this doesn`t work, mention the neural synapses of embryonic pigeons.

Your heart is my piƱata.

What I did was pour out about a gallon of Chanel Number Five and put a burning wedding invitation to it, and boom, I`m recycling.

Love is bullshit. Emotion is bullshit. I am a rock. A jerk. I`m an uncaring asshole and proud of it.

When nobody will look at you, you can stare a hole in them. Picking out all the little details you`d never stare long enough to get if she`d ever just return your gaze, this, this is your revenge.

The laws that keep us safe, these same laws condemn us to boredom.

You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is a choice. To be or not to be.

On a large enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.

Maybe this is why so many serial killers work in pairs. It`s nice not to feel alone in a world full of victims or enemies. It`s no wonder Waltraud Wagner, the Austrian Angel of Death, convinced her friends to kill with her.

On the other side of the handrail, the hallway`s gray marble floor looks as if we`ve climbed a stairway through the clouds.