Carlos Mencia Quotes

Going there is paying your dues. You always have to pay your dues. . . . You`ve just got to do it. Maybe I come from a working family. Maybe it`s the voice of my mom saying, `You`ve always got to be nice to people.` I look at it as saying it`s going to be fun. Those people are going to be really, really happy.

I don`t have the time to steal other people`s material even if I wanted to, ... The reason why these rumors got started is that I don`t really contest them because I don`t believe they deserve contesting. I really don`t.

God has a sense of humor. If you don`t believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.

You want to know the joke he thinks is stolen from him? It`s a Taco Bell joke,

In all honesty, we don`t know what`s in the hearts of other men. All I know is that I respect comedy and I know comedy. I would never, ever, ever take somebody else`s joke.

It`s an investment, so to speak. It`s that human contest. In five, 10 years, if I wanted to go back and do a theater there, I`d be able to. People would go, `Yeah, man, he came here. It was awesome,`

I have little compassion for people in trailer parks who refuse to move after getting tornado warnings. How hard is it for them to relocate? Their house have wheels.

You`re Hispanic. You speak Spanish. You`re doing ethnic jokes. Taco Bell is one of your first targets.

If you ain`t laughing, you ain`t living, baby.

I am a product. . . . I`m a comedian. I`m not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh. I make sense out of ridiculous situations, but in the end, it`s all about laughter. It`s all about your cheek hurting, your stomach hurting.