I feel I should be there.
I`d like to think I have enough self-awareness to know when my time as a player is done. But if for some reason, unbeknownst to me, that I couldn`t see when the end was for me, I have a support group of high level hockey people, family, teammates, and friends, who give me honest assessments of my game all the time. They would tell me.
When I have given what I have given to the program, it is hard to just sit with this.
But as the (former) leader of my team, how would I even be able to deal with something like that? I haven`t been able to go there.
It hurts when you know something is so wrong and there is nothing you can really do about it,
If I had slowed down, I would step aside gracefully and be OK with it,
Twenty people have mentioned that to me,
I`d like to think I have enough self-awareness to know when my time as a player is done, ... But if for some reason, unbeknownst to me, I couldn`t see when the end was for me, I have a support group of high-level hockey people, family, teammates and friends, who give me honest assessments of my game all the time. They would tell me.
(I feel) an overwhelming sadness. I`m not an angry person. I have a big, loving family and a roster full of former teammates that I love and respect. But, I`m so heartbroken right now. I could never fathom this is how my hockey career would end.
Please, ... don`t indicate that I brought this up at all. ... Besides smiling about it, I haven`t taken it further.