Calvin Trillin Quotes

The average trade book has a shelf life of between milk and yogurt, except for books by any member of the Irving Wallace family - they have preservatives.

Marriage is not merely sharing the fettucini, but sharing the burden of finding the fettucini restaurant in the first place.

I don`t care where I sit, as long as I get fed.

Health food makes me sick.

Marriage is part of a sort of 50`s revival package that`s back in vogue along with neckties and naked ambition.

Anybody caught selling macrame in public should be dyed a natural color and hung out to dry.

In modern America, anyone who attempts to write satirically about the events of the day finds it difficult to concoct a situation so bizarre that it may not actually come to pass while the article is still on the presses.

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.

I never did very well in math - I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn`t meant my answers literally.

Following the Jewish tradition, a dispenser of schmaltz (liquid chicken fat) is kept on the table to give the vampires heartburn if they get through the garlic defense.