Bruce Vilanch Quotes

Generally with the Oscars or the Emmys there isn`t much you can do until the nominations are announced. Then you know what kind of year you`re dealing with - what`s been overlooked, what the issues are.

It`s really live television, the way God meant it to be.

Sometimes there are people you can`t make jokes about because the situation is embarrassing, especially if they`re going to be there. It`s just cruel.

I write screenplays that don`t get made and pilots that don`t get picked up, and I re-write other people`s movies, and those are all different kinds of fees.

I mean, I`ve sold all these scripts and nothing`s been made. Studios have closed, stars have died. I had a director find Jesus. And the pictures just don`t get made.

It`s the biggest party in the world, and you have to keep the whole thing percolating, which is difficult because a lot of awards most people don`t care about.

I mean, when I started out I was billing per hour, like a shrink because you would sit with somebody and work. But most of it, if it`s for a live show it`s usually a buy-out. A flat fee.

I`ve written about 15 screenplays and they all sold - they were all sold on pitches.

What makes me laugh? Richard Nixon always made me laugh.

I do a lot of screen re-writing.

They make a humongous profit, but the people that work on the shows don`t get paid a lot because they`re working on the Oscars show. It`s the biggest show in the world.

I`ve never had to write a spec script.

Eddie Izzard is absolutely brilliant. I would love to write something for him.

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