Napping Quotes

My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.

(Some things haven`t changed. Dagwood`s unspoken motto remains: When in doubt, take a nap.) That`s still his favorite sport, ... He loves napping and eating. He has a black belt in buffets. And he still can`t get that raise from his boss. All those things are constants.

This is it, folks. This is the idea which has kept me virtually unknown for the past 16 years. I have watched my crowds dwindle. I am going nowhere, and nowhere quick, but, those of you who have children, I am sorry to tell you this, but they are not special. Wait! I know some of you are going "what, what?" Let me just clarify: I know YOU think they`re special ... ha ha ha! I`m aware of that. I`m just here to tell you, that they`re NOT! Ha ha ha ha! Sorry. Did you know that every time a guy comes he comes two-hundred million sperm? One out of TWO-HUNDRED MILLION '“ that load, we`re only talking about one load '“ connected: gee, what are the fucking odds? Do you know what that means? I`ve wiped nations off`ve my chest with a grey gymsock. ENTIRE CIVILISATIONS HAVE FLAKED AND CRUSTED IN THE HAIR AROUND MY NAVEL! (...) I`ve tossed universes in my underpants while napping. Boom! A Milkyway shoots into my jockeyshorts: "Unngh ... what`s for fucking breakfast?!"