Legged Quotes

"I can`t say I believe in prizes. I was a whiz in the three-legged race - that`s something you CAN win."

I`ve always loved animals and I always thought that they were, if not better, then the absolute equal of any two legged creature that God ever created.

I looked down from my terrace hanging over the Thames one morning. It was low tide and there, stranded on the pebbles, was a four-legged corpse - hairless, white and bloated. Was it a calf or a sheep or a goat or a dog? I stared at it until the tide rose and washed it away. For 24 hours I was off my food. When I started eating again, I couldn`t face meat - fresh or tinned. Overnight I was vegetarian and I have been for 15 years or more. I`ve seen the pictures of factory farming and followed the politics of mad cow disease and felt effortlessly superior. Yet it`s not reason or conscience that keeps me off meat and fowl--and these days fish, too--just a memory of that unidentifiable, decomposing body on the beach.

You`re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

I have a farm in Maryland with 18 horses - 12 Clydesdales and the rest palominos. I also have eight big cats - two lions, two tigers, two leopards, a bobcat and a three-legged mountain lion."

I have exactly the same work ethic. I don`t see writing as anything more important than cooking. In fact, I`m a little queasier on the writing. There`s an element of shame, because it`s so easy. I can`t believe that people give me money for this shit. The TV, too. It`s not work. At the end of the day, the TV show is the best job in the world. I get to go anywhere I want, eat and drink whatever I want. As long as I just babble at the camera, other people will pay for it. It`s a gift. A few months ago, I was sitting cross-legged in the mountains of Vietnam with a bunch of Thai tribesman as a guest of honor drinking rice whiskey. Three years ago I never, ever in a million years thought that I would ever live to see any of that. So I know that I`m a lucky man.

I`m attracted to long-legged girls with long arms and a little head.

The trial of a case is a three-legged stool - a judge and two advocates.