Infomercial Quotes

I`m like a bumper car. When I did an infomercial I was fodder for every TV comedy show. I couldn`t get a job. People said I was a huge joke. I`ve been a joke so many times. I`ve been on my way out since I started, but I`m strong-willed. My mother is so much tougher than I am and my grandmother is so much tougher than my mother.

I can`t wait to work for Rick Kaplan. He`s a great producer. I would host an infomercial if he would produce it.

This isn`t really a convention, This is really an infomercial. And every night we`ll have a different infomercial and people view it with a certain level of cynicism.