Colonic Quotes

(his speech after winning a Golden Globe for "House M.D." (2004)) I am absolutely speechless. Seriously, I don`t have a speech. People are falling all over themselves to send you free shoes and free cuff links and colonic irrigations for two. Nobody ever offers you a free acceptance speech. There just seems to be a gap in the market. I would love to be able to pull out a speech by Dolce & Gabbana.

On the day he had colonic irrigation: `I feel I lost my virginity that day in so many ways.`

I had to tell about my colonic, which expresses the fact why I`m so neat today as opposed to a few years ago. I never knew that the weight made that much difference.