Asses Quotes

I had sort of an F-you vibe... Everyone else had come to audition and kissed the asses of (producers) McG and Doug Liman--which they should in a sense, because they`re so accomplished. But I just didn`t. I went in and did my thing, and I don`t know, I guess they liked it.

If a lot of dogs are on the beach, the first thing they do is smell each other`s ass. The information that`s gotten somehow makes pacifists out of all of them. I`ve thought, `If only we smelled each other`s asses, there wouldn`t be any war.`

I did a picture I loved called Time After Time (1979), and the people who saw it loved it. We had a big opening in Toronto at the Festival of Festivals - huge - and they gave us a fabulous reception. Great city, Toronto - Mary (Mary Steenburgen) and I loved it there. Great restaurants, great people. The studio hired these so-called `experts` to tell them how to market the film. And these silly asses took a poll to determine a `recognition` factor. And more people recognized Jack the Ripper, which was David Warner`s role in the movie, than H.G. Wells, who I played in the movie.

My life was hell. My mother made me wear short pants - white short pants. Every boy in that school wanted to punch out the `movie star,` `cry-baby,` `sissy,` and most of them tried. Fortunately, I had been scheduled to do a picture with Max Baer that was canceled when he lost the championship. But we`d gotten friendly and he taught me how to box - really box. I whipped more asses at that school.

When X-men came around, it was a vacation. Like living in a theme park for six months. I got to fly around and kick bad guys` asses.

(on actors taking themselves too seriously) The truth is . . . myself, De Niro (Robert De Niro), Pacino (Al Pacino), Hoffman (Dustin Hoffman), we were arrogant, pompous asses.

I did a picture I loved called Time After Time (1979), and the people who saw it loved it. We had a big opening in Toronto at the Festival of Festivals - huge - and they gave us a fabulous reception. Great city, Toronto - Mary (Mary Steenburgen) and I loved it there. Great restaurants, great people. The studio hired these so-called `experts` to tell them how to market the film. And these silly asses took a poll to determine a `recognition` factor. And more people recognized Jack the Ripper, which was David Warner`s role in the movie, than H.G. Wells, who I played in the movie. Hardly anyone recognized the name H.G. Wells, in fact. So they decided to go with a campaign that stressed Jack the Ripper, which was all well and good except that people didn`t want to see another movie about Jack the Ripper, and they stayed away in droves. I`ve got a big piece of that film, but I haven`t seen a penny, and I probably never will. However, I did meet my wife making that movie, so I don`t really mind!

It`s the Coen brothers, and you never think you`re going to get to work with people like that. I thought I`d never get the part. So I wanted to do something very weird. I went in and started ranting and raving and they were laughing their asses off. I was petrified but, I figured, at least they laughed a lot. - On getting his part in the Big Lebowski.

Thank God for J-Lo. All of a sudden big asses are de rigueur.

(when asked if he wished he had a different profession) Oh, all writers wish that. That`s why we become writers. We want to do something active but we can`t. Paul Johnson, in his "History of the 20th Century", says all the great crimes are committed by intellectuals. He says intellectuals love power and we get tired of sitting on our asses.

If Britney would paint her ass green, I`m sure you could spot green asses all over LA as soon as the word was out.

(on the media) You know, I`ve made it a point not to read a thing. From what people have been telling me, everything has been really positive. Hey, it`s the kids who are going to buy our records and they`re not going to read things written in Entertainment Weekly anyway. Critics never really want to like my band. I think they have this thing up their asses that we are a lesser band now. They feel we weren`t the originators of punk rock or we are not cool or whatever. So everything that comes from these people sounds somehow backhanded, like with the Spin piece. For a while, we were a best kept secret and for a long time none of these bigger magazines knew about Look Out Records or for that matter the Berkeley scene in general. At the time, I think that irritated them a bit. To them, if they don`t know about it, it obviously wasn`t cool enough to begin with.

Well, here`s the problem. If you accept a lot of money to do a film in Hollywood and you have a huge budget, they`re going to expect a lot of asses in seats, as you would if you had to write a cheque for a lot of money. You want your money back; it`s a business. If you work on a small budget with stars who are willing to cut prices and do interesting work with you, they`ll take a risk on a smaller budget because they figure, "Well, maybe with video and DVD we`ll make our money back."

The arrival of a good clown exercises a more beneficial influence upon the health of a town than of twenty asses laden with drugs.

Now lets go out there and show them we`re not a bunch of horses asses.

An army of asses led by a lion is better than an army of lions led by an ass