Ashtrays Quotes

(on the responses to his being vegan) My family would be supportive if I said I wanted to be a Martian, wear only banana skins, make love to ashtrays, and eat tree bark. My mom has a good way of engaging me in a conversation about the choices I make, listening, being objective and open-minded, and respecting those choices so long as they don`t put me in danger. For a while, every meal was the third degree, but when she couldn`t refute any of the thousands of good reasons--my health, simple compassion, the health of the planet, etc., etc.--for being a vegan, she conceded and now is very conscious of what food she makes when I am around--and, I believe, when I am not around. She is lovely. My father never blinked. He is for the most part unflappable. In a good way. Live and let live--unless you are being an asshole. He will privately mock, ridicule, judge, etc. But, hey, who`s gonna cast the first stone? For people who have been through it, made changes, had curve balls thrown at them, it is easier to digest change and digest change in other people. Change only scares the small-minded. The small-minded and me. No, I`m only kidding. It only scares me--I mean, the small-minded. I think if I gave my dad a five-minute rundown on the advantages of veganism, I could convert him without too much trouble. I`ll do it next time I see him. Maybe. I`m not much into the converting business, though.

(On his most memorable pre-acting job) For a summer I was a busboy and waiter at a place in New York called Cafe Central, which was a hip, trendy restaurant in 1985. First I bused tables and was really bad at it. I`m clumsy at carrying plates and glasses. You had to have a swiftness and a facility for carrying stacked objects. That wasn`t me. I was interested in who was coming in, because it was an actor hangout. I would want to see who was talking to whom and what they were saying - basically, stuff you shouldn`t do as a person of service. Dudley Moore came into the restaurant and I was really interested in what he was saying. I kept going over to make sure that he and his companion had enough coffee and that their plates were cleared. I think I really annoyed him. I kept changing the ashtrays with that move where you put the clean ashtray over the full ashtray and remove both and put back the clean ashtray. I think I did that one time too many. Then I became a waiter there, and dealing with orders and the kitchen was worse. It prompted me to get acting work.

My family would be supportive if I said I wanted to be a Martian, wear only banana skins, make love to ashtrays, and eat tree bark.