Argus Hamilton Quotes

Pakistan test-fired its first cruise missile Thursday in a blatant attempt to intimidate India. It flies beneath radar. If they attacked India with a nuclear cruise missile it could wipe out the entire United States customer service industry.

He was such a convincing liar that both parties are recruiting him to run for Congress.

National Guard troops patrol the nation`s airports wearing jungle camouflage uniforms and carrying fixed bayonets. Nevertheless, it`s done nothing to hold down crime at airports. they`re still charging $4 for a candy bar.

He`s lucky to be alive. Doctors ordered him out of the lineup in March when tests revealed he had blood in his steroids stream.

If it`s not true, it`s libel. If it`s true, just think of the ballplayer he might have been.

It`s a new era at Disney. From now on, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs will be known as Person of No Color and the Seven Vertically Challenged Individuals.

Officials say the only thing Los Angeles will have to build is an Olympic pistol range. What`s wrong with the freeways we already have?

It was quite a moment. When he thanked God for the chance to play again, a federal judge in San Francisco ruled the home run unconstitutional.

The idea is to sift out violent people. The Houston Texans do it at their players` entrance, and they are 0-6.

In Oklahoma City, it can be 50 degrees below zero outside. In Los Angeles, it`s 78. In Oklahoma City, it can be 110 degrees outside. In Los Angeles, it`s 78. In Oklahoma City, there are 2 million hard-working, church-going, industrious people. In Los Angeles, there`s 78.